Chapter 6- While Father was Away

After the knife incident, dad spent less time at home and more at work. When he was home mom did have the stuff that she would do when he wasn't. I still felt safe when dad was around. On the nights when he was home he would help me with the dishes. He would wash and I would dry. We would talk softly so that mom and my brothers couldn't hear. He said that one day we would both be out of this madhouse. Mom started to insist that he was spending too much time with me and not enough with the others, dad didn't put up a fight he just stopped helping. Mom now had absolute control of the household.

Dad stopped staying at home on his days off and would only come home for a couple minutes and leave. In those minutes he would tell me he was making plans for us two to leave. Once he came in, knelt down and told me how sorry he was for everything. After he left and I finished my chores I ran downstairs and I cried into a pile of rags.

One time when dad left mom decided to starve me for ten days. By day six I was so weak I couldn't even lift my head. By the end of the evil game she told me I had two minutes to eat the left overs on the plate. Before the food hit my mouth she pulled the plate from under me. The next time she tried this I shoveled everything into my mouth so fast, she said I ate like a pig but I didn't care because I got the food.

The other favorite game that she liked to play was to lock me in the bathroom with a bucket of ammonia and Clorox. I would have to put the cleaning rag over my mouth, nose and eyes. I wet the rag in the toilet and put it back on. After a half hour she came and dumped the bucket. For about an hour after I was puking up blood.

By the end of the summer it seemed like mom got bored of finding ways to torture me so one day she sent me out to mow lawns. I couldn't meet the quota though and out of desperation I stole nine dollars out of a girl’s piggy bank to meet the quota but I got caught and beaten until I was black and blue. One lady another day while mowing lawns felt so bad sent me on my way with a lunch. As I ran home with the bag in hand mom caught me with the bag before I could get rid of it. Mom drove back to the house but the lady wasn’t there and so mom thought I had broken in and stolen it. When I got home the ten rounder left me on the floor.

She pulled me into the bathroom and there was no bucket so I assumed that this would be easy. She drew a bath but it was freezing cold. She took my clothes off and told me to lay in it with my face underwater. Hours passed and my skin became so wrinkly. She finally called me to get out around dinner time. I was told to throw my clothes on and then sit outside in the cold while the “family” ate dinner. This became routine.

The start of school gave me hope of some escape. By October my horrible life was in full swing. Food was scarce and I was easy to get picked on by bullies. Sometimes I would do my chores and then the bath and other times the bath would come first. With every passing day my will became weaker and I began to think that I would be moms slave forever. I gave up on praying and I lived my life one day at a time.

One day I was told to report to the nurse’s office. When she questioned me I gave her the answers that mom instructed me to do but as my trust grew I started to tell her more and more. The nurse had only become interested in me from reports from the substitute teacher earlier in the year.

By Christmas my spirit was drained and I wasn't looking forward to the Christmas vacation coming up. Mom made me skate up and down the block without a jacket. She had me skate for hours at a time.

By March mom was in labor, while mom was in the hospital dad let me play with my brother and I was fed. When dad went to the hospital Shirley would watch us and she was nice to us. A few days later mom came home with baby Kevin.

One day near the end of summer she made me sit on the end of the bed and she told me she was tired of the life she was living and she was sorry and she wanted to make up for lost time. I have the biggest smile on my face and I jumped into her arms. I asked it if was over and she said yes it is and to forget any of it had happened.

I was allowed to take a warm bath and I got to put on new clothes. After she took us bowling and on our way home she stopped and bought us toys. That night I ate at the table with the family, things were happening too fast. The next day a lady from social services came to the house. The lady was asking me if I was happy and if mom treated me right. She had asked me if mom beat me and I said no I mean only when I get punished when I’m a bad boy.

After the lady left mom began to beat me I knew I said something wrong. I had accepted my fate but I have never felt so alone.